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Pulpit Rock

Posted: Tuesday, October 02, 2012
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Norway. A country of endless, oil-tinged riches, beautiful Nordic peoples, postcard-worthy landscapes 'round every bend, and the breathtaking, Mother-Nature-made skyscraper known as Pulpit Rock, or Preikestolen in Norwegian. In Forsand, Ryfylke, fifteen miles from Norway's fourth largest city of Stavanger, the 10,000-year-old cliff rises from the winding waters of Lysefjord like a really massive 82' x 82' flat-topped beast made of earthen minerals and particulates.

Pulpit Rock attracts 150,000 to 200,000 visitors per year, but hopefully not too many at one time because standing shoulder-to-shoulder with a gaggle of tourists on a 1,982-foot tall rock with no guardrails doesn't sound like a particularly appealing bucket list activity.

Pulpit Rock: Famous Last Words

If while visiting Pulpit Rock you hear someone make any of the following comments, either gear up to be a hero, or brace yourself for a very unfortunate turn of events.

  • I can navigate this place with my eyes closed.
  • Just pretend to jump off while I take a picture.
  • Yeah, my optometrist said she's never seen someone with such poor depth perception.
  • Whoa, dude, I think I'm still drunk from last night.
  • I came here because I met an ostrich during my travels who offered to be my spirit guide. When I told him my dream has always been to take flight, he had me eat a fistful of earthworms to prove my soul is worthy, and then he gave up his ability to soar, passing it along to me during a midnight ceremony under a lemon tree. I know it worked because I saw him the next day getting chased by a warthog and he could no longer leave the ground. Today, I will leave the ground.
  • Helllppp!
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